10 Secrets Men Do Not Want You To Know
...especially if you are dating them!
For men, perspective is very vital. How they want to be perceived by friends and the entire public matters significantly to them.
When your man is in politics or any other official setting, the effort to keep some of his past concealed has a lot to do with maintaining certain images of himself. However, most men do not do an excellent job of it.
There’s always a special one in his life that knows so much. All it needs is one Delilah to uncover those things that have stayed buried for so long.
The closest circle where a man’s past and present are very likely to be open are in his relationships. It is socially acceptable to keep some things from the public, but when a spouse is oblivious of certain things about her partner, it opens a window for an impending breakup.
So, unhealthy or not, what would men generally keep from their spouse? And why do they do it?
Get that cup of coffee, would you?
10 Secrets A Man Would Never Reveal To You
1. His History of Cheating
The new girl has to meet a clean record; it’s a popular men code.
Men understand that among many things that women might want to tolerate, cheating is not one of them. He wouldn’t want to leave such an impression on you even if it happened a very long time ago.
Most men believe that it takes a certain level of dishonesty to establish trust. The truth in this is that it only lasts for a while. Regardless, your man doesn’t want to move around with the stigma of his misdeed, even if it happened two decades ago.
This situation is similar to ex-felons trying to get a decent job. So, as a new couple tries to bond and build up trust in their relationship, the cheating record stays classified.
It has to, and not even the most effective seduction from you will get it out of him.
2. His Friends’ Disapproval of You
Romance always seems to find its way into everyone’s business.
Whether you like it or not, there are people that want to know who your man is dating, if she is sweet and respectful or if she looks like Kim or Monique.
When his friends meet you and express their disapproval, a man most likely would keep this from you.
This trend might turn out to be healthy if he’s in love and prefers not to bring in negativity into his love life. However, if his love isn’t as deep-rooted as he professes, there is a high chance he might consider that his friends’ opinions matter.
You and I know how this ends.
3. He has a “Mommy’s Boy” Problem
Women are ardent readers and followers of relationship counsels that are often published on blogs, books, and other media.
Many relationship experts who make these publications often downplay the idea of going into a relationship with men who are too close to their mothers. Apparently, women do not appreciate the notion of competing with their spouse’s mother for attention – and many men are very aware of this.
The first step a man with this “problem” does is to try to cover it up as smartly as he can.
After going out on the second date and the relationship becomes serious, there’s a tendency that he will change his mother’s name on his contact list from “My Sweetheart” to “My Dad’s Sweetheart.”
But it doesn’t change the fact that his mom is still his first dial during an emergency.
4. He Hates Your Food
Some might agree that keeping this a secret is cute because a man who perfectly hides how horrible your cooking is makes a reasonable effort not to hurt your feelings.
The fact that many women, these days, could even consider cooking for her man means a lot.
He might appreciate the gesture, which is why he would eat out and politely make up an excuse so that you wouldn’t reserve his portion while he’s away.
If sentences such as, “Honey, I’m ordering pizza tonight, my friends would love it” or “I should be the one to add the salt next time, I love to help in the kitchen” sound familiar, then know that your cooking is terrible.
He doesn’t just think you can handle the truth.
5. He Has An Exit Strategy
Okay, how long have you been dating your boyfriend? Do you both keep a joint account?
Or do you think you have him where you want him to be – absolutely loyal and compassionate?
This isn’t an attempt to burst your bubble, but it’s in every man’s nature to have an escape route – a perfectly planned exit, in case the relationship doesn’t go exactly as he wants it to.
This may have little or nothing to do with losing trust in the relationship. He just feels safer knowing that there’s an asset, investment, or account opened somewhere without your knowledge.
And of course, that there is something or someone he can fall back to when everything goes south.
How’s the coffee?
6. He Misses his Ex
If he still keeps the pictures or contact of his ex, then their past may not be over yet.
Too blunt for you? Take a sip from that coffee and release your breath.
Often, your man could slip his ex’s name into his speech subconsciously and apologize for it – that’s a signal that she may still be in the picture or would be very soon.
Common errors, such as mentioning his ex’s name by mistake or giving instances using his ex, however, does not mean that your spouse is cheating on you.
He’s secretly missing her, and you might be smart enough to know why.
7. His Family Has ‘Issues’
You may have figured this out on your own. Men keep secrets regarding their family members, especially when it’s too sensitive or embarrassing.
For instance, if one of his family members have a history of mental health issues, he’s likely to keep such information secret.
If his parents are also going through a terrible divorce, he might keep you at a distance from them until everything is resolved.
Past crimes, money problems, suicides and other terrible past about his family are some of the things men protect, even from their spouses.
8. His Addiction to Porn
As a grown man with responsibilities, maintaining a specific positive image is common for every man.
Watching porn is not particularly a social norm. So, he’s likely to keep the habit a secret, especially if he is addicted to it.
Men often keep their sexual behavior secret because they fear judgment. Pornography has become easier to access, and in most cases, the objective is to step out of their regular boring sex routines into something wild and more intimate.
His ego might, however, be too big to admit that every exciting sexual activity he does with you in bed was from a porn site.
You might want to visit his porn stash if you have some doubts…and yes, good luck!
9. He Has His Own Insecurities
You should do well never to assume that it’s only women that care about their looks.
Some men keep a pocket mirror, often worrying if they are good-looking or if their spouse finds another man more attractive than they are.
Many men exhibit signs of dysmorphophobia, which typically involves having negative feelings about their appearance.
Some suffer in silence, feeling ashamed to discuss their insecurities about their physical appearance, but who could blame them?
It’s not considered ‘masculine’ in certain cultures to be worried about your looks.
10. He Isn’t As Rich as He Claims
You may have also subscribed to the stereotype that recognizes women as the gender that keeps their financial records or spending habits hidden from their partners.
You’re mistaken. Men do the same. The trend is universal.
Because of social constructs, men understand that they would be given due love and respect if they can provide adequately for their spouses, so their first instinct is always to inflate what they own or their financial capability.
Don’t be surprised if, after getting married to your seemingly rich boyfriend, it becomes suddenly obvious that his luxurious houses or cars are mortgages.
A man would typically do anything to make himself presentable by creating more wealth, or by merely faking it.
There’s no doubt that secrets are damaging to any relationship. Sometimes, they are for a good reason, such as protecting a loved one, saving a family member from embarrassment, or keeping your spouse from heartache.
Some secrets start with waiting for “the right moment to open up.”
However, keeping secrets ruin many years of established trust between couples. Truth should be served promptly, however discomforting it may sound.
If you feel that your man has been hiding some things from you, it is probably because of the reasons highlighted in this article, or reasons best known to him.
Always, the best way to get him to talk is to share your feelings about the secrets he keeps from you.
You make things worse by hiding your feelings. Let time heal the consequences before the circumstance grows roots and branches in your heart.